Saturday, January 7, 2012

Joe Derive's Book Club!!!!

Hi, I'm Joe Derive and in my latest drinking binge I had this idea for some videos. I'm really glad that some baseball players decided to promote their books in order to promote their pocket books. Now I know its after Christmas but so what.


Bobby Jenks - $24.95 with a 20% offer
Hi, I'm Bobby Jenks. My new book available from Barnes and Noble Nook is called

'How To Work Out And Get Multiple Back Injuries Requiring Surgery' by Bobby Jenks

This new Nook edition takes you through the steps needed to complete this successful weight loss and fitness improvement program. In this book, I'll show you the steps needed to really get the look you want and still get multiple back surgeries probably ruining your career. This Nook edition is great since you get to read it and work out at the same time. I'll show you how to eat French fries, Twinkies, lots of lard producing processed cheese and all of this while watching the White Sox on your couch watching your blood pressure go through the roof and still get a back injury so run out today...well actually wheel chair out if you follow my plan and get one today.

Manny Ramirez - $36.95 with 10% offer
Hi, I'm Manny Ramirez. My new book available from Amazon.com in hardcover is called:

"How to ruin a Hall-Of-Fame career With Extensive Drug Use and Jail Time" by Manny Ramirez

This new edition takes you through my career and shows you the steps needed to remove a talented career in favor of a washed up retirement. I show you the steps to success including pushing old people to the ground, faking injuries, taking steroids while claiming you were taking Viagra as well as showing a constant immature attitude...but there's more. I'll also show you how to be a complete ass as I dig my own grave of shame and smile about it. So get your book today and do it before you get into too much trouble by following my plan!

Theo Epstein - $134,749.24 with a 1% offer
Hi, I'm Theo Epstein. My new book is available from Borders on its closeout rack in a warehouse somewhere. I think this is actually why Borders went out of business. Anyway, it is called:

"How My Amazing Education Failed to Remove My Stupid " by Theo Epstein

Now don't get discouraged if the title confuses you. Just remember that just because I went to a terrific school I still can add 200 million plus no talent equals total team failure. I did it to Boston and now I take that great talent and bring it to Chicago. I'll show you how to buy a gorilla suit and wear it without ECT treatment and I'll show you how to buy a house (variable mortgage and basement floods with a roof that needs replacement and a crumbling foundation). All these things and more like buying stuff and throwing it away or drill holes in your head for better holistic thinking...some come on down and buy this.

John Henry $23.23 with a 100% discount
Hi, I'm John Henry and run down and get my book at your local book store:

"How To Put Your Foot In Your Mouth Every Time You Talk Because You Can't Help It "

I know this is a book for anyone's Christmas list and I certainly want you to run out and get this book because its about how you talk to people and learn to duck as they throw things at you for sounding like a total idiot. I'll show you my own life examples like buying headphones for my overpriced ballplayers or spending tons of time on a soccer team as the Red Sox collapsed or how I let Theo Epstein go before I settled with Chicago loosing any leverage I had. Wow, get this book and Theo Epstein's book and you're sure to have success in life. So get your butt off the couch and start living the John Henry lifestyle which includes calling talk shows on the radio so you can sound stupid too like me do.

OK, that's it folks...see ya soon!